I can't say one way or another, what's real there. Even if I knew, we don't diagnose people here. My gut says it sounds like something you should talk about to a therapist or psychiatrist, if you haven't already. Part of me thinks that it sounds so nice to have an angel in your life, but the realist in me says it's a psychiatric issue. Does this mean that you don't date? Is this taking the place of a social life? I'm sorry I can't really help you. It seems like the whole thing is adding strife to your life. If you get to the point where you want to do harm to yourself, please call a hotline or go to your local emergency room.

There is one thing I want to add: I had an older brother who died when we were young. For many years, I thought he was my guardian angel. I guess that was my way of keeping him around.