They say it's a sign of old age when you wish things could be like they were before. Maybe I'm getting too old, older than I brag about, because I spend a lot of time "wishing things were like they used to be."

I've done more than wish, though. I've tried to change things in my life. Some things have changed and some things haven't. At the bottom of it all, it's me that's changed. Some changes come easy, some changes are quite a challenge... and some changes are darn near impossible.

On the flip side of that coin is change that goes on outside of what any of us can do anything about, or so it seems. The world changes, people change, environments change and there's very little one, two or three people can do about it.

I find myself in that position right now. Ya'll know that my relationship with my youngest son is great now, ya'll have been with me through my relationship with my husband. Things are immproving on that front. Some call it "in 3D" or "IRL". I've always maintained that the life we live online is also "IRL". It affects each individual as much as things in 3D.

There's a lot of things that will change if we change our perceptions or our responses in 3D. I have found that it's not nearly so with what goes on behind the screen of my monitor.

In years past, I could come to PC and be heard, get and give support, I found a haven here of caring and understanding. It's not so anymore. Everywhere I turn, there is anger, arguments and discention. I don't find this in 3D!!

For quite a while I've asked myself "Why am I here? What AM I doing here????" "My friends" was the answer. It sufficed for a while. Not anymore. You see, there's other ways of staying in touch with these friends and not have to go through all the tension, anxiety, arguments that color my everyday life even when I'm away from here. I find myself pondering, worrying, getting hurt feelings, getting emotionally exhausted thinking about what I encounter in what used to be my haven.

I can't do it anymore! So... begging your pardon, I will withdraw from here for the time being.

What I haven't done before is state my intentions. I haven't done it because it's not "attention" I want or need. I'm just so disappointed and tired to the point that I felt I HAD to say something.

I crave LOVE, I crave KINDNESS, I crave UNDERSTANDING, I crave INGELLIGENT CONVERSATION, I crave AFFIRMATION, I crave BEING HEARD. I'm not finding these things here... so... I'm withdrawing for a while.

PC, Admin and Mods and ya'll will be in my thoughts and prayers. I'll be praying that a wave of peace, love, understanding and acceptance, and if not, then TOLERANCE flow through this place once again.

Over and out...