Moogieotter - The NHS did not used to be this bad, but it is now chronically underfunded and being set up to fail. For the most part now it just warehouses the mentally ill, offers them drugs and then kicks them out as soon as possible to apparent ‘care in the community.’ Dubbed by every service user I know of as ‘no care in the community.’ I have a ‘free’ Pdoc, but she is not really free as everyone here is forced to pay national insurance. You also do not get any choice, so I can’t choose a hospital or doctor. So I am pretty stuck in that regard.

Preppsychmel - I am sorry to hear that, I certainly have those moments as well. I couldn't tell you what keeps me going really besides habit and a hope that science will advance enough that something stabilizes this. In the mean time I just survive as best I can. If I think of it all as a whole it is just paralyzing. Instead I guess I live for the moments in between that are not so bad. The small things do matter.

Christina - My friend was right about here, it is a supportive encouraging place. I am not relieved when I find others who understand what this is like. Because it often means sharing the exact same stories. Of coping and surviving. The restless part of me wants more than that. I did make a friend in the chat room, we had a very interesting conversation. I hope it is one of many. So what helps you manage your Bipolar soup?

Summer - I am sorry you understand so keenly. It is a hard position to be in. But then so is being hit by an articulated lorry, having your spine shattered in fifteen places and ending up in chronic pain for the remainder of a formerly fulfilling life. The world quite obviously is not fair that much is true. Sometimes no choice is involved, you and I are the way we are, no fairness and nothing beyond accepting our limits as they now tend to be. It is getting to grim acceptance though and even upon acceptance, then what? That is the question I am wrestling with. What can I do now if my only consistency is my inconsistency? I think my Pdoc may be right, time to focus on quality of life over wellness. I have yet to figure out what that actually means in a practical sense yet. How about you, given any considerations to what you can do to improve quality of life, when running head first against various limits?