I am not sure what you mean by freaked out.

I am attached to my T way much but I know this happens in effective therapy. I grieved greatly when my first one died but I think that was acceptable.

Ipse... My fear for you.. and correct me if I am wrong ...but you are basing your decision to return to therapy on how she answers your questions ...without discussion. You also will not go elsewhere. Am I right here. I am afraid that you are not taking care of yourself....and you need to be your own advocate to the best of your ability.