Hey,

I'm a panromatic ace. I don't know many aces, and am really hoping there's some here.
I have depression, and go through crash periods which used to be quite far apart, relative to now. Since I am a romantic person, I had been searching for a partner to spend my life with. Many past partners have said they're okay with me being ace, and not having a sexual relationship with me, but it would never turn out that way. Though I didn't put any effort into those relationships.
Anyway, a few months ago, I found myself falling for someone for the first time. He's a sexual person, and I've always known sex to be a huge part of his life - he was pretty much a slut whose charm I couldn't escape. Though, he also felt the same way and go into his first relationship with me, abandoning all sexual relations for me.
As the months went on, I feel worse and worse about the arrangement. The thought "Why does my sexual orientation take priority over his?" constantly went through my head. So I decided I'd put is first. Or try anyway. I started sleeping with him. Awkwardly. It's not something I like to do, and it's always something I initiate cos he doesn't feel he should.
Now, I can't help but feel like I'm being used. He told his friends straight away about it, which makes me feel really violated. I don't like that it's not something just between us & it puts extra pressure on me to continue.
Though many aces are sex positive, and quite enjoy the act, I'd probably fall under the neutral catagory. I want to enjoy it, but can't.
The feeling of being stuck, and that it seems like sex is taking over the relationship I used to enjoy, keeps triggering crash periods in which I struggle to get out of bed, never mind doing anything else.
Anyone have any ideas on how to deal with this situation?