Sorry, you're right I didn't say but I came back home last night. They live about an hour away from me and a bit more from my job. With rush hour traffic that would easily be a 2 hour commute, no way I'm doing that. And you're right reaching out really triggered a significant shift that I didn't imagine at all. I was so convinced to be on my own with these thoughts and that no one could or would help me and here I find myself having all the support I need.

Spending the weekend with my friends was really helpful and I will try to be more honest with them in the future. Maybe I'll explain them the whole story next time I see them.

Today was also my first day back at work since telling them I needed to leave because of an emergency with "my horses". Well no one believed that one... When I got there I was still a bit out of it because of the Dipiperon I took last night and asked if there was a way I could not drive today. That wasn't possible and my supervisor told Main Boss about my "meds induced hangover". I was really concerned when I was told main MB wanted to see me, but it was actually positive news. MB was concerned about my safety and offered me to stay home a couple days so I can rest while my body adjusts to the meds.
I didn't tell him what I'm taking, but he vaguely knows that I've suffered from CSA (no details), that I often get stress related migraines because of this and that I see someone because of all this. He has no precise diagnosis and doesn't know T is actually a Pdoc, but apparently what he knows is enough for him to be as helpful as he can be.

Sorry for the long update, but I didn't have any laptop all weekend and am enjoying my full keyboard.