It's not that I think I shouldn't feel anything because I'm anhedonic, it's that I really don't feel anything, though I should.

I'm recognizing dangerous thought patterns today, I'm starting to tip from the I-don't-care-either-way middle of the line towards the I-don't-care-but-I-think-I'd-rather-die side. My thoughts are bordering on the desire to suicide that last got me into the hospital. This makes me anxious, not because I want to live or fear dying, but because I have to make a decision to seek help or embrace suicide, and my choice affects others.

I need to set up an appointment with campus counseling today, so that'd be a good time to ask for help. May as well I guess. Death is always an option, may as well keep life as an option as long as I don't care much either way.

<font color=green>____________________________
Matthew 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.</font color=green> Sounds good...