Hi :0)
You know, the first thing I noticed is you starting working so young. You aren't asking for a handout with SSD, you earned it.
I'm a RN case manger. I think the only way I could work now is from home, thank goodness it's an option for me. I give people resources all the time for SSD, please let me know if I can help.
You'd be amazed the things people are on disability for. I'm not saying anyone doesn't deserve it, I am just saying we all have our own burdens to carry. It's impossible to compare our struggles to anyone else's. each of us handles our struggles in our own way and they are individual and personal.. So never think you are not as deserving as anyone else.
Now, the guilt thing... It eats me up too. I need help w my child and my folks do a lot, but people wouldn't help if they didn't want to and some day the tables may turn, someone may need your help and I can tell you would do anything you are able for a loved one. But what I try to tell myself is redirect your guilt, bc reasoning doesn't work, instead you just ruminate on it and feel worse. U have to tell yourself that whatever is causing the guilt is a necessity and regardless of whether u beat yourself up about it and let the guilt eat away at you, it's still something that is happening and it doesn't make you a better person to hate yourself for it. I think we all instinctively feel guilty easily bc we don't feel we r worth anything and I think we see others who take advantage of people and think about how loathsome that is. But being guilt ridden isn't making you or the situation better. All you can do is be thankful and do what you can when you can.
Of course I say all of this but still have a hard time walking the walk, myself, but I hope this perspective on it is helpful.
Hit me up anytime u need anything at all and I'll do anything I can
Wishing you the best, AC (something to make u smile)