Quote:
Originally Posted by MASIMO
My Ex-T is traveling the world and has a blog for family and friends. He kindly let me into his blog. No one posts to his blog publicly as he has asked them not to. I didn't know what to expect. Maybe a post from him once a week from India, China. He is a photographer so loves to send photos.
Well, he posts EVERY DAY! Everyday I look forward to reading all about what he is doing, where he is going, eating, photos. It's wonderful, I am very fortunate he gave me this access. However, in trying to grieve the end of our therapy relationship, It's hard.
He is ever present on my mind, every day he comes into my life. In ways he never used to personally. He left things with me that we will hopefully form some kind of friendship, but he will always be my T to a degree. I'm not complaining about the blog, but I am continuing to maintain a close attachment to him. Thought I would be learning to live without him, and that would be the work I would be doing. I eagerly await for his next post. There is no way I would want to go a day without checking it.
I guess he really didn't abandon me after all.
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I follow his blog every day. It comes to me automatically. He has been gone 109 days. We keep in contact by an occasional email. Like new years. So I get email from him titled 'reaching out'.
I think of reaching out when I need support. So it wasnt like a hello. He said, 'Masimo, it's been too long. He had to refer to seeing or talking with me. This really grabbed me.....he must be missing me.
He said when he returns in the spring he would like to see me. Take the special ocean walk we did before he left.
Now he's a shrink. Knows I have feelings for him so is he leading me to believe he does too. He has retired so being friends is possible but not likely. He will always be more than that. This is a little confusing.