No. I'm afraid I wasn't clear with my post above. My T was not telling me to cum. My T was telling me to stop staring at him and instead try to find out what I am feeling. Why do I feel that I want to be with him. "Don't hold on to me" was figurative.

I admit my transference issues are complicated in my head. On one hand I want to just sit in the same room with him for the rest of my life. Other times, like my first example, it feels more sexual.

I'm actually really happy about this whole post because I am always striving for honesty with him but I'm afraid I haven't been fully aware of the half sexual half protector thing I have with him. Actually I think I have in the back of my head but this only leaves me worried that I have had some sexual issues with my father. Ugggh.

To sum up. I'm going to tell my T about both feelings I have with him. He only knows about the non-sexual ones. He was NOT telling me to cum.