Hi Hvert... long day, and I'm a bit "blah" here from work and therapy issues...

Definitely check out the book! It sounds like the universe is nudging you!

It's interesting that you still find things to stress about, even though you're not working. I *get* that... but... I don't know, I guess it depends on your situation. I had ~3 weeks off at Christmas, and for the first two weeks (before I started worrying about getting back to work) I felt SO GOOD. I was eating better, I felt like I had time to get things done, the house was clean, I was on top of things, I was relaxed... I just felt like I had the space to *be*. And, right now, I don't. Ugh. If I made more money, I'd outsource some of it (I'd love to get somebody to come cook for me, that seems to take a crazy amount of time/energy for me!). But it is what it is, I guess.

I know 12 years sounds long, but really... it's not. I've already been there 10 years. If I got moved into another group (a good group!) I bet it would go by incredibly fast. Time seems to do that these days. Heck, if my current job improves... the next couple of years could go by quickly. It's a big, huge company, and the benefits really are good - I know it sounds awful, but for example, I get a crazy amount of vacation time... and in a year, I'll actually get an extra week. I'll start getting off like... enough time to take more than a month off, paid. I just don't think I can get that anywhere else.

Anyway, I talked to a few people at work today and they were very encouraging about helping me get into more design work within our team, and willing to help out with me learning this program that everyone is using, so that was good. I'm still working on it, a little slow, especially as most of today was eaten up by interviews (and I have to go in for the next few days to do more, for different positions), but... it's something concrete I can do, and it's helping me fill up the time. So, not too bad.

I'm not sure if the problem is lack of contact between team members - that might be part of it, but really it's that my boss is too busy doing fun projects and has become a bottleneck for the rest of us. It's crazy, b/c he's been telling his boss that we don't have bandwidth to do more work *sigh*. Who knows what's going to happen... like I said, I'm hoping that having these two women (one is my boss's peer, so she reports to his boss as well) trying to help get me on more design projects will help.

It probably doesn't help that with all the therapy issues, it's just hard to be really energetic and engaged, you know? I almost wish I could just take off a year to just deal with my mental-health-crap! Maybe one day... but probably not the best thing for me right now! (Oh how dreamy though, to just focus on being healthy and happy... I wish there was a scholarship for that! If I were rich, I'd start one!)

And... yeah, that guy is weird (re: bringing your friend into the interview). If her boss invited her last time, maybe it was made clear to him that management thinks she needs to be involved, so he invited her this time? Or maybe, since you've worked with her, she's there to sort of be the bridge between you guys (though that doesn't make sense if you've been talking to him). Did he confirm that your meeting with him is for an interview?

Good luck with it! I hope it turns out to be valuable practice!