I am going to be very clear here.

IF YOU ARE THINKING OF HARMING OTHERS OR YOURSELF, SEEKING CARE IS AN EMERGENCY. Get someone to drive you to the ER as soon as possible. Make sure someone is with you. I am not saying this lightly. I was in ER Saturday. What you are talking about is extremely scary.

That care may or may not include psych meds, as prescribed by someone who knows the meds and other concerns about pharmatreatment. The best treatment for severe/emergency mental health issues is still medications, as they stabilize so that other modalities can work. These meds can be lifesavers, and the doctors will be able to address any issues/concerns you have.

Please call the Suicide Hotline as soon as you see this.

1 (800) 273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Hours: 24 hours, 7 days a week
Languages: English, Spanish
Website: Lifeline

May I suggest changing your username to LonelyForNowGirl? Using the F word is just not a good thing to do or associate with.