Hi YisMy. I read your post and sorry, it was a little difficult to understand. I really think I got the just of it. If not, you will know that I didn't by what I suggest.
You made the comment that you wanted to be a woman that likes other woman. Ok that is fine. but the rest of your post made me believe you are a man. So. If you are a woman and you are interested in woman.....explore. I think you described yourself as confused about relationships and I believe you are afraid of settling! I think it is safe for me to assume you are young.
Sexuality....relationships....etc. are confusing even for those of us who know if we want a man or a woman.
Just because you go out with someone does not mean there is a commitment. If you see someone for an extended period or spend a lot of time together, it would be wise to let that person know that you are not into anything serious. That you just want tot enjoy their company. For your own sake as well as theirs don't try to make yourself feel something that you really don't feel. I hope that makes sense.
When you find someone that you want to be with, that you feel a real connection with you will know it! Do not rush! Don't let anyone make you feel pushed, or guilty or anything like that.
Always be true to your own heart and be honest with others and you will find what you want. Good Luck to you!