Quote:
Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe
I had a good spell lasting 8 years where I developed a passive tolerance of my depression. I even managed med free because I could accept that depression was part of me but not bigger than me. About 3 years ago I was triggered by a change at work, but I didn't realise what the trigger was or why it was so devastating, I only noticed the crippling effects of the illness overtake and overwhelm me. I am now at a crossroads of knowing the trigger and having to choose a new direction. Do I accept my incomplete understanding and learn to live within my new parameters or do I seek to unravel my identity to understand more deeply?
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I am afraid we may be forced to accept an incomplete understanding.
Pretty much the same situation I am facing and very difficult. My biggest problem is not the depression but how it affects my life. How do I plan for the future? How big do I set my goals and how big of commitments do I make that I may not be able to complete or honor. It would not be fair to the people I commit to if I end up not being able to honor it.
I cannot even identify the triggers that set it off except for financial stress which is a big one. For that I have lots of different options for addressing, thank god. How can I even choose to overcome triggers I can't even identify? How do I shape the parameters and boundaries of my life even if I totally accept depression as part of it and am at peace with it???
Today I am feeling very good and making lots of moves. Next week I might be very depressed and all my confidence gone about the moves I made today.