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I defenetly feel your obsession and worry.i know its not easy after 40 years of obsessive compulsive personality disorder.ocd,and other,,,i wonder if u are generally at peace with yourself? I never say happy.happy comes and goes.but being at peace is a common outlook.on life.my advice would be to talk to your dr or closest friends and sort out the thoughts,i know i have alot of "magical thinking" i project alot.i think people are looking at me a lot etc but if u are ok with your life now and at peace i wouldent worry! I know easier said than done.are you healthy?this obsession is a hard one cause their is really no right answer,,thats my problem! I go over and over with issues that have no answer,as this one is, please dont worry about it!! Its far from selfish it really is..if u are a good person have good friends and hekpful towards others it will fall into place i know it will...and u will be in another dimension and their are several oranizations that can help//please think about living