That seems to be so awfully important to so many. It's not that I can't see why. It certainly feels horrible to struggle so hard with depression, or whatever, and be told that you could be different, if you would just take more responsibility and try harder . . . if you would just make better decisions . . . if you would just do this or do that.

Even therapists can totally get on my nerves. I went to them faithfully. Anytime I moved, I located a new therapist in my new community. I would tell them that I have this chronic problem of recurring episodes of depression. So, typically, the T says, "Well, you know you can have a better life than that. If you will just work on your issues, life can hold so much that's wonderful for you." I'ld hear that crap every time I started with a new therapist. Finally, it dawned on me: "What the h*ll do you think I've been doing these past many years, prior to meeting you?"

In one way or another, we are bombarded with judgementalism, and we get desperate to escape that. Because we know that we have been trying very hard, even if no one else can see the truth of that. Years into the problem, we know we have coped with a lot and responsibly accessed what help there is and we still got this monkey on our backs. So, if I'm permanently saddled with this thing, then, Please God, let it not be my fault that I am this way. Let this be in my chromosomes, like sickle cell anemia. Then I'll be worthy of some compassion. Then I won't be to blame. And, if my kids' problems are genetic, then their difficulties won't mean I was a bad parent.

So being an alcoholic is genetic. Being bipolar is genetic. Being gay is genetic. Your kid having ADHD is genetic. Maybe they all are genetic . . . I don't know. But I do know that there is this outlook that, if only we can get acceptance that something is genetic, then we might have a better chance of being accepted as we are. Then we can escape the scorn of our fellow man. Isn't that kind of sad? Are we, any of us, wise enough to sort people into two groups: those who are just f***** up, verses those who are innocent victims of misfortune.

I think just being human is reason enough for anyone to be f***** up, and none of us is responsible for being born human. I'll bet that, even if a person is born with a completely flawless genome, non-predisposed to any ailment whatsoever, he or she can still become an alcoholic or a depressive or a manic/depressive. Would such a person be more deserving of reproach/condemnation than his neighbor with the faulty genes? Such a person would still have reasons for why he got the way he got. There's reasons for everything, I believe.

My main point is that I think we've gotten obsessed with genetic expanations for everything because, as I think newgal's remark illustrates, we've got so much riding on that - namely, our self-respect.