(((((((((BB))))))))))) thanks for your support.....i just find that i cant bare to see it leave my "agenda" i know i sound pathetic.....it just seems everyone is soo mad at me IRL ...including my old therapist who made me feel like i was a failure for almost wanting to reject the options of stopping..i dont know whats wrong with me...i should stop...i should even want to stop....ive tried stopping...but im never happy when i stop....im so messed up and confused