I haven't posted in awhile, my life has turned upside down this last few months. But for once, this is a good thing and I did it myself. I didn't see my therapist for very long but it was so worthwhile. I really believe she saved my life in some ways. Or at least let me see there is something worth saving.

Anyway, I quit my job in the career I've had my whole life. And moved most of the way across the country and went back to school. All of these are really good things, that I could never have done last year. Or really any other point in my life and been ok. That's not directly related to the therapy, only that I can finally see out from under the black cloud that there really is something for me out there.

So obviously, I'm not seeing her anymore. I feel pretty good about keeping myself together and out of the black pit. And if I do fall, I know there's things I can do to help myself that work. I do get scared though, when I have a bad day or something happens, my first reaction is still panic or thnk the world is ending. The difference is now i can stop that, I just wish it wouldn't happen! But I guess living my whole life that way will make it a hard thing to just 'fix'.

I've had major depression issues on and off my whole life but I think this is the first time I've felt ok and it's been hard to not look for things that feel like I used to. It seems hard to understand being 'ok'. You know? It's such a huge weight off to be able to even talk about this stuff to people.

Anyway... what I want to know is how being without a therapist for awhile has gone for you? Do you find it easy to backslide? What I'd really like to hear is it goes ok for people. . I'm really hopeful of being ok now.