I applied for disability when I was 34 years old and have never regretted it. It's been a HUGE relief in my life. I was at a point, like you, that I just couldn't deal with it any longer. I got approved pretty quickly - within 6 months, without a lawyer. I had a detailed history of my treatment - hospitalizations, doctors, etc.. I don't know if it was the number of hospitalizations or if it was my doctors that helped me. I never talked to my previous doctors to know if they contacted them. I'm sure they did, though, and those doctors would have supported me. So, definately make sure you have the support of a very good doctor. I hope it works out for you - you don't need to be suffering like you are. Go easy on yourself.