Quote:
Originally Posted by qwerty_kid
Today I envisioned cutting and hanging myself during class, and the imagery was so brutally vivid I almost broke down in front of everybody. How much longer can I convince myself that these thoughts will fade in time? How can I sustain any hope? These terrible fantasies of self-destruction spring up nearly every day and I begin to dissociate from reality. I'm so scared. I can't function anymore. Schoolwork is the absolute least of my worries. The days are getting longer. I talk to nobody, and nobody talks to me (except teachers when I have to).
Humans are supposed to naturally avoid thoughts of death - nobody wants to die. Neither do I, so why can't I stop thinking about it?
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Not being able to stop thinking about something like that is part of depression. I like sideblinded's advice to talk to somebody. Maybe someone at your school or, even better, your family doctor.
If you find that this describes what's happening to you
http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html
you might want to try the suggestions there.
I wouldn't take your thoughts about hurting yourself as something to act on. I don't even think you should take these thoughts seriously. They keep coming up just because they are self-perpetuating, so whenever you feel bad for other reasons, they keep popping up. Read the thread above for a suggestion about how to escape this loop.
This is a friendly place. Stay in touch and let us know how it's going.
- vital