Like I hope to build up that, this girl and I am going to see friday. That we be closer bond as friends, that despite something that would seem like the stuff that make or break most younger relationships. Don't phase us, because we didn't put our love in superficial **** and sex. That I want her love as a close friend first, I'm not dating her yet because of that. I want to trust her before making that move. I am into open relationships, physically I think she maybe too, but I don't we'll see. I hope so, it sucks, everyone especially young people believe you're wrong and different if you want to have sex with other people in a relationship associating it to only wife beaters, neglectful husbands, and people who are players and cheaters. When that's not the truth at all for me, like I hate it being closeted by this.

I won't cheat, if I cheat I would know and make it very much a secret, but I'm an open book with everyone I dated even the girls I couldn't stand. I had a many temptations from the girls I dated who knew I was "Too nice" and they cheated on me first, because they were probably bored when I could of too, but chose not to. I used to take it more seriously, but now. I see the people who do that stuff and pretend to act like I should be mad and be codependent and abusive when I'm not, is crazy. Like girls like that need help mental help, young people, I mean people who don't get it between the ages of 14 to 40. Yes I mean 40, I mean you don't turn old after 40 you don't turn old period. I don't believe in that, I figure most people at that age figure life isn't worth getting angry over little things like the young people I describe.

The younger girls think, being clingy, obsessive and possessive is the only way to win a man's heart and that's what love is just as much as guys do. Guys are more possessive and obsessive by nature, but some can be clingy.

It bugs me, when I dated a girl who get mad at me, when I told her I want to be left alone, and she was always in my business. I didn't want her doing that it didn't feel like a relationship and I didn't learn at the time till then when to say no more I'm breaking up with you and stick to it.

I dated girls who hypocritically used me for all the sex they want and when
I didn't give it to them to fix their emotional and physical addictions to whatever afflictions plaguing their overly emotional life. They jump to the next guy behind my back and constantly lie to me and have sex with me more. People don't think that's ok, but rather find that the same category of what I mean.

That's just plain ignorance. I don't think anyone here understands what an open relationship is, better yet I don't want them to have em, because we don't want the ignorance to spread from people getting hurt from doing an open relationship not going in prepared.

See.. I want to be around this girl and I like this girl, she's super sweet and nice petite and goes out her way to be nice and kind to others even if she doesn't like them. She's a student at the college my sister goes to, but is like me in many qualities. I mean I find her to be the perfect friend for me and best friend potentially. We were on the same page and still are. I check up and communicate my feelings to make sure. I'm not being clingy after I find out I'm not leading myself to doing something stupid on accident or making something awkward I leave it alone and do my own thing. I love how this relationship is as it is, it feels simple. That's all I want is the emotional part to come first the validation and the security of having each other's back no matter what, dating or not.

When we do go out, it won't change much except we are physical at times and it just escalates. We are taking our time, because we have time. I had talked about it with her. I don't want kids a commitment or marriage I had crazy people just try to weigh me down with their negativity. All I want is a friend to not leave me. I had a lot of my friends leave me recently close male and female friends. We just got distant, I just want to feel loved and safe in that regard first.

Then after that foundation is down, I'm ready to get to my healing on my sexual issues of my past. She knows and loves and supports me for being transgendered and bisexual. She is bi herself. She always has the same freedoms to express her sexuality as much as I do, I won't shame her or make her feel uncomfortable in any way in what she feels. At the same time, I want the same respect in return. It just require lots of communication that will come later. I'm not in a rush. I just want this to work.

Like I want to have sex with other girls with and maybe without her, but not frequently. I don't want it even sometimes, just enough. Like 3 times a year maybe at the most. I don't want a build up or a feeling of weird anticipation that would require from me not freaking out. That I chose her, because she lets me do this and trusts me. I know this sounds very outside of the box, but there is a point to it. I was raped a lot as a kid, by someone I loved and trust. I just want to be healed in a way I know will work on the side including what I do now already of going to therapy and taking care of myself emotionally. I'm ok now, but I have insecurities and curiosity I want to rid, once I have the knowledge and experience of just I want to try for a couple times on some things and explore my sexuality. It doesn't stop there, at the same time, to make it work, it requires me to do the same for her which I can do. I think I've had enough happen to me and realize what's more important in life than sex alone..

I hope that last part makes sense. I know that would definitely help me more than I would know. I'm just excited for now, she's been such a great friend in my life now. I take it day by day. So I thought I make this all make more sense.