Look, i'm in love with my psychiatrist since 2012, but i got a pause with him because of financial problems: june, 2013 to september, 2014. I'm in love again, but, deep inside me, i've always been in love with him. I met him with 15, and he is recentely with 37, and i'm 18 now.

PHYSICAL CONTACT: He is not the kind of doctor that is ''don't touch me and i will not touch you, no physical contact''. He is kind, loving, patient, funny and sweet. He hand-shake, accept hugs and i think he hugged me one time, i don't remember. Oh, and he ask me sometimes when the session is over if he can kiss me on the cheek, and i accept, always. And hand-above-hand in a friendly care. There were times that he give me fly-kiss when the session over.

TRANSFERENCE: He was always wonderful to me. I think he may see me as some kind of daughter to him, paternal care, i guess. He demonstrate some care since 2012 to me. And we were getting closer, intimate and we have informal conversations with swears (like friends, you know). He likes the same bands as me and we have others same interests and we talk about that too, like always. About financial problems, he was really gentle and patient. One time, i couldn't be with him more because of these problems and he said to me: ''you can't be without mental support. Come here when you want''. And in the last session he met my boyfriend and said: thank you so much, i'm happy, because you showed me that you trust me. And when i say: ''Hey, look, i don't have money now, but...'' and he just smiled and said: ''okay, don't worry, come with me''. And i gave his payment another day.

Sometimes i like to be cared in some kind of paternal care, but i hate that! my dad died on 2012, i think in the same month i met my doctor. But i'm love with him, i have romantically and erotic transference.

I'm so scared to lose him, he get mad at me, angry and give up because of me and my feelings! i don't want to lose him, i don't want to end my treatment with him because of this case of transference, and he will not want to see me anymore and will think that it will be better if i go to another doctor.