Do you ever sound like one extraordinarily special person! Can I add my wishes that things eventually turn out EXACTLY the way you want them too--that you get permanent custody of your young brother and that you and he and anyone else you'd like in your corner all get through this and come out at the other end feeling great, wonderful and so, so hopeful about the future.

--seems to me that already you have a good deal going for you in terms of your own caring character. Little wonder that your little brother loves you so very much. Still, you have every right to allow sadness into your heart but I do so hope that your undaunting spirit will rise up to put that sadness in its place and render it only a casual visitor in your life.