Hi Jodilynn You sound like a very good person and I am so sorry that you are trying to deal with this sad situation
For starters, you know you can not change someone that does not want to change. Your mom knows what is going on and she chooses to live that way. You will need to accept that!
Growing up I had a mother, but she was in no way the definition of MOM.
I always craved the Mom you are wanting. Someone to spend time with, talk about girl things, someone to help me through boyfriend situations, etc.
Since I could never have that I became close with several of my friends moms. They became my confidant and friend.
If you have anyone in your life that can fill in the emptiness that may help.
Other then that maybe get involved with some other activities or groups that involve women or maybe children. I was also a CASA (court appointed special advocate, for foster children) at one time and that is very fulfilling.
Good luck to you