This is a really tough situation. When there's domestic abuse, kids want to do something about it. That's natural. I'm not surprised that the police didn't do much. If he's not physically or sexually abusive then it's not an emergency for them.

But the truth is that it's not up to you to "save" your mother from an abusive relationship, even when she's ill. Maybe someday she'll find the courage to reach out for help and leave him. This isn't your responsibility, no matter how ugly the situation.

I think the best you can do is provide emotional support to her and your siblings and also take care of yourself. That might sound selfish, but the healthier you are physically and mentally, the more you're able to help your mother and other siblings. Don't discount the abuse against you. Verbal and emotional abuse is very painful and requires healing.

Your mother's beliefs are common in domestically abused women. I heard the same kinds of things from my mother. She's been married to my abusive father for over 50 years. My sister and I have tried many things to get her to see the situation for what it is. We've accepted that it's just not going to happen (they're in their 70s and my father's health is failing, so she likely will never leave him).

I understand your desire to help your mother, but this is her problem, not yours. If you focus so much of your energy now on trying to help her get away from him, you may find yourself 20 years from now still being dragged down by other people's problems. It becomes a habit, and it's not a healthy one.