I get some reality testing by talking; people look at me and have no idea what I'm talking about and get quizzicle (quizacle? Is it like icicle? :-) looks on their faces and I panic and start talking faster, etc. I need to slow down.

I have a lot of trouble with perceptions, especially online where feedback is so often missing/"silent." Somebody not responding to a post or my own worries about what I said can get me going. In my schoolwork, we have a board and everyone introduces themselves and I started responding to the first few people but I'm the only one doing that and thought it would look "dumb" to respond to everyone when no one else was responding. Too, I didn't want to respond to everyone as there's 50 people in the class, but who do you "decide" to leave out? Aren't they going to feel hurt? (LOL, hurt that they didn't hear from Me, whom they don't "know" yet?).

In the real world I've gotten much more outgoing and "friendly" than I use to be 4-5 years ago and my husband has even commented on it (a good thing) and how helpful and nice it has been for him as I "carry" the conversation sometimes, engaging people, which he claims not to know how to to do well. I think I may be channeling my stepmother again :-) which is a little disconcerting. I never really learned to cook but am a good cook and figure I must have just picked it up helping her but now I'm "older" I appear to be more of a conversationalist than I use to and I remember she was that way too as I was growing up and I'd sometimes notice and admire her skill drawing out and conversing with people.

I think when I take the time to really look at and think about my perceptions and what I'm feeling, things get "clearer" and more straightforward. I think challenging any "negative" ones is a good idea, looking at what is really happening versus what my head alone says it sees. It's more any judgment behind what is perceived that I think get in my way. I need to see what "develops" rather than "deciding" something means something specific before it plays out.