I keep in contact with an ex-T. She hasn't been my T for 10 years. I email her once a year, usually in Nov/Dec. She emails me back a few months after. I can write about whatever I want, but I just stick to events that have happened over the year and current plans. She usually writes back with what she's done over the past year, reassures me she still remembers me , and gives me encouragement and praise.

I also keep in contact with a past mental health counselor. She also hasn't been my counselor for 10 years. She actually initiated contact via FB. She offered to meet up when she first contacted me, but my agoraphobia was so bad that I made up some lame excuse. I write to her a little and she writes back. She's always updating me on her family (she has 6 kids and 6 grandchildren). I actually, accidentally ran into her a month ago when going to do labs. I asked her if I could take her up on her offer and meet for coffee one day. She said of course. Now I just need to get the courage to set it up.

But, I feel, the relationship has to change in order for it to be healthy. They are not in a therapy/counseling role anymore and it's not fair to put them in that role. They are a friend. They can still offer me emotional support, but I do not turn to them for emotional support. I accept whatever they give me and am grateful to just have them in my life. And the reason I believe it should be this way: if you continue to see them in a therapeutic role, then you're still viewing them as a professional and not as a person as a whole. And if that's the case, professional boundaries should still be applied. But that's just my opinion.