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Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2
True here. My pdoc and everyone else keeps asking me if I hear voices and I made the mistake of saying "yes". I do have visual hallucinations, but no auditory ones. I got pumped full of AP but the voices are still there.
I got to talk to a skitzo in the hospital and compared my voices to a hallucatory one. She said that mine were odd because mine don't ever go away and I have intelligent conversations with them. We also take votes on what to do and not to do. My "command voices" come from renegade alters.
My life is segmented. I generally can't build a timeline of my day. The number of times I say "I can't believe I did that". I'll find stuff moved around that I know I didn't move even though I'm alone. I'll do things and not remember doing them, the memory seeming like a dream leaving me not sure if I did them- this screws me when it comes to taking meds. I find notes in my hand writing that I have no memory of writing.
So there's no question I'm not psychotic or delusional, even though I do wonder at times.
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just a little heads up anti psychotics only get rid of the voices if that medication is the right one for you. it sometimes takes many many years to find the right combo of medications to get rid of the voices due to delusions /psychosis/psychotic type voices. Also even with dissociative type voices the voices sometimes do go away/cease to be heard/ go quiet. Sometimes Dissociative type alters run a close similarity to those alters of other mental disorders. example schizophrenics can have what you call renegade alters. I know many schizophrenic that have intelligent conversations with their delusional/psychotic type alters. usually when someone is in active delusional/psychotic states of mind their alters are very real to them and they do have conversations. heck when my bipolar disorder is active and my meds arent working right my delusional/psychotic type alters are very real very intelligent, street smart..short version delusional/psychotic type alters can have the same IQ , smarts, language and such of the person this type of alter is within. example since I am a college grad my delusional/psychotic type alters also contain that same intellect, vocab/language skills/logic...its actually easier to talk with alters that are delusional/psychotic types than it is with dissociative types. Dissociative type alters hold secrets/traumas and such that they dont share with the person they reside with in so they tend to be hard to get along with, hard to communicate with, hard to get to co operate...in general ...usually it takes many years of therapy work to establish/develop things like communication/co consciousness, breaking through the walls to the trauma's that caused the dissociative type alters to be created...
my suggestion is dont try to compare yourself to others with all kinds of mental disorders to figure out your own mental disorders/ internal system of alters. there are many different mental and physical health problems that can result in many different kinds of alters that can seem the same and different. the best way to find out whether you have a certain type of alter and mental disorder is go through diagnostic evaluations. this is a very lengthy testing process that takes into consideration all types of mental and physical health problems and all kinds of alters, and can accurately tell you what your mental disorder and your alter types are. This way you wont need to make guesses based on talking to other people with schizophrenia and other mental disorders and possibly end up coming to the wrong conclusions. for how your own problems and alters are.
let me show you what I mean...
one day when I was hospitalized I was talking to someone who had the same identical symptoms and alters to me. I thought oh man I dont want to be labeled Autistic but they have the same problems I have so that must be what I have, I can deal with this, ok not the end of the world. I also talked with someone with DID while I was there. their voices and symptoms were very different than me so I thought phew at least I know Im not DID.
well after all the testing was done turned out I wasnt Autistic but was DID.
I could have seriously harmed myself mentally and physically by sticking with the wrong conclusion that I had Autism because my DID problems would not have been taken care of. not to mention the treatment plans for auitism are completely different than that for dissociative disorders.
if you really think you have a dissociative disorder please dont leave it to the luck of the draw of talking with people with other mental disorders andcomparing yourself to others. please talk with your doctors they can help you get the right testing, treatment plans and yes in some cases for some dissociative disorders meds can help. theres no medications to cure DID but there is meds that can help with what causes a person to dissociate like anxiety, depression, psychosis, and other problems that are known to cause a person to dissociate.