I can relate to the idea of becoming, "absorbed," by another person when I am attached with them. This happens to therapists that I am close to. Everything reminds me of them - I try to hang out with friends but I am constantly reminded of my therapist - wondering what they are currently doing, if they ever think of me, etc.

I have never stalked or done creepy things - but I have googled therapists - hoping that I would find an email to communicate with them. The only time I have done this - it was to clarify something that popped into my head and caused me a ton of anxiety. This was after our therapeutic relationship was terminated. Unfortunately I never found emails and it only led to frustration - but as far as looking for them further - no matter how strong the impulse to seek out a strong relationship - I would be able to stop myself from doing something weird.

I suppose I am lucky in that I would never allow myself to fall into the stalker category - although I can see how becoming absorbed by someone can lead to thinking in that way. Of course I idealize my therapists and fantasize about being their child - and being given the kind of nurture that I lacked in my childhood - but that is a natural and normal phase of transference in the therapeutic setting. Not something to be overly concerned about.

thanks,
Hd