Lately things have not been going well for me and my anxiety. I was a couple of days away from having my mom call a therapist that my school referred me to and set an appointment, but I started doubting my anxiety again. It's as though if I am not experiencing the anxiety and tension, I feel as though it doesn't exist. I keep struggling with the idea that I am making it up. Which frustrates me. Because why would anyone want to make this up and go through these things.

And the day after I went through all of these emotions, my sister, in a rage of anger, told me that she thought I was making it up as well. And for someone who needs to be reassured about everything, having her say that completely hurt. Now I feel as though I have no one to talk to about my anxiety. Because I can't trust her to listen.

I am going to give my mom the number to call soon, but idk.. I still feel alone and I feel as though everyone around me is thinking that I am just making it up. And if I think they think it, then I think I am too and it just seems to go into a cycle like that for me.