I've been depressed for a while and usually my dreams are vaguely anxious or straightforward nightmares. I sometimes have dreams about being in places from long ago, where I'm trying to reach destination but never quite get there, or where I'm leaving University and trying to pack up three years of belongings and not quite succeeding. I don't usually have emotions in my dreams, they are pictures and sounds.
Last night I dreamt I was walking round a town that I last visited about 15 years ago. Although I recognised the town it was very different to the place I knew before. It was a warm afternoon, with sunshine, the town was attractive, even though in real life it is just a tired little industrial town with some good stone buildings and a tiny little park by the town square. I walked down a long, wide cobbled street and at the end was a big hall where there was a craft fair. Instead of the normal stuff that I would like but not want to buy, there was some amazingly beautiful jewellery. I held and turned the pieces in my hands looking at the lustre and the light refracting from the gems, I could appreciate the beauty but I got no pleasure, all I felt was intense sadness. I left the craft fair and continued walking and all the time I felt the same suffocating pressure in my chest that I get with depression.
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