KIDS? how many? how old? Are they yours or from another man? Custody? Visitation? Support?

All questions that have to be dealt with by talking to her. The focus must be on them, not on getting back with her.

I stayed in contact with my ex because we had dogs (our children) but otherwise, we had to go no contact because it was too painful for us. We both played the "what if" game. We forgot why we broke up.

If you want her back, focus on practical matters. Don't be her friend. Being too available, a good listener and wimpy will lessen her interest level in you, and make you feel miserable. Unless it is about the kids or banking, etc. go no contact for a month and see how it feels. Stay off the phone, texts and email are easier to control.