Hi Junerain. I like your nic.

Good point you made on getting lost on the negatives.. "that it is a slippery slope one must avoid at all costs." I think I triggered myself when I responded to the He's Dead thread and all of the years in therapy surfaced. And therapy was the "birth" of my negativity. I always had hope, but lost it during those years. I gave up on life for many years and basically existed day to day. I pushed my friends away. And I shy away from getting close to anyone. Just recently, I "at times" try to get back to the "living" of life and at times chatting with people. I bounce back and forth tho. Maybe in time since I am trying, I will be back to the "living" full time.....

My "shady" past is basically a series of abusive relationships and bad marriages. I never used drugs or alcohol. Except, I must admit I have recently developed a taste for the "fruit of the vine" as being red wine. Nice stuff indeed. : Is odd that I seem to function better after a few glasses of wine.

Before therapy I always lived in the here and now. After therapy I seem to "at times" get stuck in the past and anger surfaces over the years in therapy that only led me to that "slippery slope" and I slid to the bottom and stayed there because I was not able o climb back up...I eventually gave up and quit life, then quit therapy.

Life is a little better these days. I do go out of the house now. Have been planting a flower and veggie garden. I even had a yard sale and was exposed to many people and even talked to them without trembling in my shoes or spacing out. I have not yet been able to go in a store yet. In time I guess that too will happen.

I am so glad your life has turned around for the better. You give me hope that my life too, can turn around too..I guess time will tell ..As for doing therapy again, I doubt that will happen. But then who knows, I may stumble upon a T that understands and can help me pave the way to a better future

safe huggs
rf