Thanks amandalouise, I was going to quote Ya but...

Appreciate your thoughts. What I meant about 'renegade personalities' are more on the line of personalities I lived my life thru for a period of time through at points in my life that I needed to cope- mostly for social situations and relationships. I've lived a wide variety of different ways, Like a mean biker, gangster, etc. I know it's silly.

Believe me, there are things that I don't know that I find out about later, maybe. My life has been a series of traumatic events, starting back from when I was a tot. Being bipolar at a young age (I was seeing things at 5), the childhood beatings I endured seemed so much worse, I guess. I don't remember most of them. I disassociated from the pain. I was beat and bullied by both parents up to high school. I was a shell of a person till I was in late 20s. Being beat into submission, all my personalities "went under ground". We were insulted and berated daily by both parents. The details evade me, but I can feel the feeling. I'm about to cry. The last time we talked I cut myself and ended up in the hospital so I'm going to stop here. It wasn't your fault, it was just the pain I demanded up.

I do have missing time in segments, not large batches. The voices have personalities which have actually ran this body for a period of time.

To me today, they are renegade to my present way of living. They are suggestions that I would of done in a different life, but not today, hence renegade.

The AP I'm on does wonders for my hallucinations, nips it in the bud so to speak.

I'm not going to compete with you. I've been this way for over 40 years. I appreciate your knowledge. I'm glad for you. Sorry the things I say aren't exactly right because I tend to generalize a lot lending to misunderstandings. I'm the product of a disjointed life.