I had a positive experience last night and I just want to share it with someone. An acquaintance from my church had a baby about one month ago. No one held a baby shower for her. I could see that she was not held in high esteem in her immediate family. So I stepped up and offered to host a shower for her. I did it for two reasons. First I had empathy for her, she is so sweet to all and needs TLC. Also, I use to do these type of things and found joy in doing them. Being older now, I don't have the energy I use to have, and my dexterity isn't the best. I couldn't even tie bows and that sort of thing. I called the only person that I felt comfortable in reaching out to & asked for help. She was able to help for a few hours. It made all the difference. About 25 or so ladies came. We had a wonderful time. When the young mother left our house, she could not find the words to express her happiness. She didn't need to, I could see it in her face. One thing that was funny, her two crabby aunts arrived at my door, angry and in a quarrel with each other. When they left, they hugged me and kissed my cheek. Total attitude change. Interesting to me is the toxic women that gave me so much grief in the past, didn't come. Another thing that I was prepared for was for my Aspie spouse to somehow sabotage it. He tried, but this time I was ready and put his responsibilities right back onto him and told him to deal with it. He was the only one that went to bed with the conclusion that all was/is messed up. It was a successful experiment. Not a big deal, it's just nice to reach out and have it turn out to be a wonderful experience and I feel like I progressed by actively not owning my spouses feigned helplessness.