Hi dalila...

I was not aloud to get angry or "furious" with the T. He pretty much controlled the sessions. And made it clear that he fires clients that upsets him. So I had to be a "good lil girl" or be fired. And I was too scared and messed up to have a T fire me. Although I did say to him, "what benefit am I getting from this therapy" and tried to quit a few times. He put me on such a guilt trip and saying I was not well enough to quit and that he was trying to understand me...So I stayed for 7 years. I think I stayed because I liked his voice. He had such a nice tone to his voice. Was soothing. Other than that, therapy was only a hindrance for me...

See that is what I don't understand. Your comment that childhood stuff sets a stage for future and present issues. If I have limited recall of childhood, how can childhood be part of my present and future life. Oh I should add, I had, that is until therapy, thought my childhood was the greatest. I guess a childhood can be the greatest at times and maybe not so great at other times. Is just hard to balance the not so good with what I thought was the greatest. Kind of broke my bubble.. Actually, I was shattered, when the bad memories surfaced. Rained on my parade big time

Looks like the T was wrong about the oral sex. I pray I am wrong too.. That it did not happen..I do not want to believe an adult would do that to me. Maybe it is denial. Just that sick feeling inside when I think about it. Maybe It is just a feeling and not true..

safe huggs
rf