I got disability. Not in the US - so I don't know the logistics of how it work there... But in the country where I'm at. To start with I felt a lot of guilt that there were other 'truly disabled' people out there who needed it more than me. That I should somehow 'pull myself up by my bootstraps' that there 'wasn't anything really wrong with me' (except possibly that I needed an attitude readjustment etc.

But things were... Fairly much as you describe... With respect to my really trying to make a variety of things (jobs or study options) work... And things just not working out. Me not being able to do it. It wasn't just that I didn't like it, or whatever, it was that I would end up in a place where I was ready to throw myself off the nearest bridge, or whatever...

Since I got disability my life changed for the better. There were a bunch of things that I needed... Some of them I knew I needed. Some of them I didn't know that I needed. But now I have more of what I need... Perhaps everything that I need, in some sense. And... This year I'm going to make a go of full time study and... Hope to get into Med School for next year. I don't know whether I'll make it, or not, but I think I have a pretty good chance, actually, if I remain focused on the goal, and don't freak out too much along the way. They seem... Shocked? That I'm voluntarily taking on a full time workload even though my 'work obligation has been lifted'. I guess... That is best case... That you get the disability help you need and that you... Discover something that you CAN do.

It sounds to me like you should try and apply. Your therapist said that they are willing to support an application. Do you have a medical doctor e.g., psychiatrist on side? I don't know the logistics of your system... For me... It was fairly crucial to have both. Good luck with things...