I once had a very close friend who had this disorder. She found stablisation on stemazine and ativan, but it took many years before they found that combo worked. It was by pure fluke that it worked... (PM me if you want to know the story). She also used marijuana to help her cope in between episodes and help her eat. Eventually I convinced her to go to a therapist, I dont know how she is going now, but I pray better. This thread actually makes me feel I should make contact with her again. She lived a very lonely life.

Are you in therapy? Not because I suggest that as a cure - but as something to help you with the anxiety that accompanies this disorder.