So I have been in therapy 2 months now.
I originally went to make someone happy and get them off my case. I clicked with my T from the start but have a extremely hard time with trust issues. 2 weeks ago in session I let my guard down and talked about parts of my past that I have never told anyone. Than the following week I sent T a email insulting her trying to push her away because when I start to trust people that's what I do. Unfortunately she gets the Push/Pull completely and basically I can't get her to termniate me or give up which is scary in it self. So this week I got through that talked some more about past ended up holding her hand and truly letting my guard down again. Than I email her this week asking about session, she wants to switch my time which is fine. But last week I told her my cutting was really nad and I have been scared she is going to try to hospitalize me when I go into session this upcoming week.
So I sent her a email telling her I was worried about that, she didn't respond I'm like freaking out. Than I sent kind've a rude email. Because one I don't like change and her wanting to change my apt time messed with me, than that triggered me to thinking she is going to try to put me in the hospital. Plus on top of it I have never truly trusted another person and I have let my guard down and am starting to feel a connection with her and it's freaking me out and I want to RUN RUN RUN...
Can anyone Relate????