It's not wrong to feel hurt, not wrong at all, it's human, very human ((dps)). Resiliance includes feeling, grieving and healing by slowly getting validated, but also learning from these hurts, even though it can be a painful journey. I don't want in anyway to imply that for some the healing isn't more challenging and it is not a just. It can be hard to learn how to allow one's self to "feel" and then not feel bad for just feeling as it can feed into feelings of defeat or unworthiness.

When you say "we", you are talking about parts of you that were hurt and at the time you had no knowledge about what to do with these "hurts" and feelings of not being safe. Triggers are "questions" that come up, often emotional questions or remembering when one was being hurt and did not know what to do. We are all supposed to have a nurturer present so when we have emotional hurts and fears, we are allowed to express them and the presence allows us to sit with these feelings and be validated and comforted and this presence is supposed to help us understand how to overcome these hurts and that yes, that was a bad person or yes burns hurt or yes that was scary etc. Well, if a child doesn't have that they instead try to find ways to escape or run from their emotions, not their fault. Feeling like one doesn't belong is exactly what a child feels like without the encouragement that they "do" belong.

However, it is actually very "normal" for each human being to question at times "if" they belong, this site is one example of just that.