Recovery is terrifying. I just started recovery in late August/beginning of September. It's been 4 monthsish and I'm weight restored now. It's really, really scary but you gain so much more than you lose. You gain a life. You gain friends, and a personality, and real emotions that are driven from you and not your eating disorder. I hated the person I had become in the depths of my anorexia, but when I started to recover I found that it wasn't really me. It was the eating disorder taking over who I was. It is only killing you. The eating disorder wants to kill you- remember that. You need to fight against it and reclaim your life! I know you can do it It's not too late for anyone to recover, EVER.