Hi Amuseable,

With the T I am seeing now, he is very formal - if that's the right term - and we have zero physical contact. We've yet to even shake hands. That seems to be the boundaries that seem comfortable for him.

The last main T I saw was different, and we did shake hands, often as we were beginning a session, and sometimes as we were ending a session as well. It wasn't something we did every time, but it was nice and seemed welcoming. We didn't hug, until the last time I saw him and he was moving away. Then we had a brief hug at the end of our visit.

I get the impression that the majority of Ts do not hug their clients, and many prefer that there is no physical contact at all, including shaking hands. I think they believe it helps to make the counseling relationship safer and clearer for most clients. There were times I wished for hugs in the counseling relationships I've had, but I've also realized that it was probably better that we kept the counseling relationship free of that kind of contact. Counseling relationships can be supportive, but it's only a certain kind of support, and at a certain level. It can't be everything, and for some kinds of support - including physical contact, if one needs that - I think we often have to look elsewhere, whether one gets hugs from loved ones or friends, or gets a massage at a health club, hugs a teddy bear, or is able to pet a furry friend like a dog or cat perhaps....

Thinking of you and wishing you all the best.

Take care,
ErinBear