Hi iditp20

I am glad that you are in counseling. Just because you have no emotional expression does not mean that you don't have a lot of emotions. I think you have a lot of emotion as you say that you are reactive and have explosive and destructive fallout. I think there is much behind the surface.

Maybe somewhere and at some time in your life you stuffed your emotions because it was not safe to let them out.

I can relate as I used to stuff my emotions all the time as I came from a very unsafe environment to let out my emotions. I have spent my whole life getting them out and it is worth it to get to the core of why you have these reactions. I have many triggers that I have learned about and finding out why I react the way I do is the core answer to healing. Keep working with your counselor.

I wish you the very best.