well i will start by telling you i dont have autism, but i hope you dont think that negates my response. i know i cant possibly understand what you are going thru.

but i do want to say that you have more caring and feeling than i do. i have my own mental health issues that keep me from being able to connect with people, form attachments, and have relationships, but i simply dont care what other people think of me for not being able to do this. so who is the real monster here if anybody is a monster. i am just trying to give you some prespective here so you stop beating yourself up so hard. you seem to have so much compassion and feelings. it is oozing out of you.

i am basing this on what you wrote. i dont know what you did. but it seems that you went to her to apologize and explain and she rejected this. well i have some words for her. so she is the one who lacks compassion and does not care. do not base who you are and the future of mankind on her response. while i do not have much faith in the world in general, i do believe that you can not judge how others are going to react based on her reaction.

there are many kind and caring people in the world. if they are not surrounding you now, find a new crowd to hang out with.