I consider myself non-binary, although it's sort of hidden from other people. Judging by biological sex, I'm in a heterosexual relationship with a straight cis-gendered male, so I've felt it necessary to appear to the general public as an effeminate female. I don't mind that so much, but it bothers me to be referred to as a woman. My partner knows I'm not straight and that I'm non-binary, but I'm still referred to as a woman sometimes. I don't know what to tell him to refer to as though. I know it's partially my fault because I allow it and refer to myself as a "woman" sometimes too especially when talking about biological processes that those who are physically female experience (like periods and pregnancy etc.)

It's just weird how I'm fine with most people recognizing me as female, but I just want those close to me to recognize that I'm somewhere in between even though I appear effeminate. Maybe it has to do with my strong dislike of female gender roles and stereotypes and it doesn't bother me as much to be considered female as long as it doesn't automatically mean I'm treated differently? Once I found my partner who treats me as an equal person no matter the gender, I've felt more comfortable appearing effeminate. Although I've noticed that I look very effeminate, but I'm more masculine or in between in personality but my partner looks very masculine, but is more effeminate in personality. I guess it just balances out?

I just find it all confusing. If I'm on female hormones (as in birth control) I identify as more female and identify as more male when I'm not. Actually, part of the reason I went on birth control in the first place was because my male hormones were too high naturally and it felt like I was chemically forced into a more proper gender and I've been confused ever since. I have no choice but to be on hormonal birth control now because I'm actually trying to prevent pregnancy, but I always feel like it's changing my gender against my will.

P.S. Thanks for this thread!