I'm sorry I've had that same experience from family many times (even though I make myself available to them & am supportive).

Been a long day here-my hubby's 1st day post op & I'm soooo tired & it was quite gloomy here today. Then my Mom called & as I was answering I told my husband I hope she's not calling to tell me someone died (cause she rarely calls) & it was to tell me my third cousin who is 1 year younger than me died & my cat Frodo who I gave to my Mom when we moved out here had to be put down yesterday. We both cried a lot during the conversation & it was one of those moments that made me see my Mom as an individual person with her own troubles, heartaches etc. instead of how I usually view her. Although I am so sad for my cousin's family & heartbroken over Frodo & my Mom's pain it was a very idk cathartic experience for us. I told her how sorry I was that I was not there to support her. My Dad buried him next to my beloved beagle Bo that passed away 9 years ago. My cousin & I spent time together as teens & had a lot of fun & 51 is so young to die-very sad.