Exactly! But it's an intrusive thought when one is trying to heal, don't you think?

This distresses me! I really do feel it is a "comforting thought." I have thought that way since I was a kid. One I have tried to make come to fruition (and thank my God that I always failed), I must admit, but one that I never thought that was right.

I am grateful for the "instinct" I have to preserve my life, no matter the punishment I have put it through.