I think you have discovered why an awful lot of people out there take recreational drugs. Numb themselves with alcohol and / or cannibus or with tobacco or with psychiatric medications...

Some of the 'emotion regulation' kinds of skills might be able to help you. Not because I think you have borderline personality, or anything like that, but because there are some really good skills there around self-soothing and the like.

Are the people around you largely sad / unhappy? If so... Can be hard to know who started it (the feeling)...

Do you similarly catch positive emotions like joy or elation or excitement?