Dearest blue eyed girl-

Perhaps you can decide to only worry about this one day a week. If it pops up in your mind , just say,okay-I'll put that away until Tuesday. Sounds sily, but I do it and it works.

As one who worked in the funeral industry, I know that buying pre-need is the biggest rip off going. They will keep coming up with things you need beside the basics and your payments will keep escalating.

I would say go with the Alex Trebeck thing. It doesn't cost much and might provide you with some peace. And honestly-and I hope this isn't too gross-the same thing happens to a body in a hundred dolar casket as in a ten thousand dollar casket.

At 63, I rarely worry about death anymore-it has taken up far too much of my time as it is. I have my own view of the spiritual world and believe I have shown more kindness in my life than I could have. Not that I do not carry guilt for those I have hurt. But I am like you-officially kicked out of the family at 18, never to be connected again.

The things I treasure, my books and boxes of writing, and other little things that bring me joy-let whoever have them. I will have no need for them. My ticket to my next station is already carved on my heart and that is all I need.

You are lucky to have friends. Since my husbands death I have been alone and I am fine with that. I like my freedom to do my work when I wish, freedom from abuse and constant stress.

So please stop worrying about this until Tueday. I will remind you should you forget.