Well... Today I found a courage and told my mom about this. I just could not stand this overwhelming feeling of panic, shame and thoughts of SH. She was sad that I did not tell her about this earlier (we did not have a good mother-daughter bond at the time which is why I did not tell her) but also very supportive. She also said that what that dude did was an attempted rape. She told me to find a courgae again when I will be seeing my T. I feel a little bit relieved now although I know there is a long road for recovery ahead of me.